Unreasonable-ness

I received my pathetic salary this morning... paid off my bills, there's only a even more pathetic portion left.... I was very preoccupied with this "how to survive" notion this whole morning... I never felt changing a career would be so tough... I never thought that my unreasonable-ness streak in me would take me so far.... This is something new I learnt about myself as well... I've come a long way since April... Friends who were with me the whole journey saw a change in me... they saw me being more persistent about the jobs I took on... no more data management related jobs, no more high paying jobs.. just event related positions... even if it means S$6 per hour kind of salary... I do admit that although the environment sucks here, I learnt a lot from May. A lot about logistics, eavesdropped on the way they plan for their events, learnt about the licenses they needed to apply for walkathons, for awards presentations... but still... the fact remains... the pay sucks...

I was looking for better paying jobs online... and the thought about going back to data management work came creeping back.... the pros outweighed the cons... by a whole lot... higher salary, faster way to save up to US trip, more interviews.... I know Cubix is upset with me for not keeping my promise to visit her at the end of the yr... but with money so tight, saving is even impossible... much less an air ticket....

I think the worst part of this whole career change is that i dun get support from my closest friends... maybe because they do not feel that I treasure them a whole lot cos we've been through our schooling yrs together... maybe they haven't been through a career switch... maybe they made the right choice about their career the moment they left school... I remember this phrase from a close friend in the group, " You are so messy right now, dunno what you are doing.. sigh..." I stopped in my tracks when I heard that.. I felt XX was the one who knew the most, yet when that came out, I stopped telling the rest of them where am I working, what am I planning to do simply because I dun think they would even want to know... I start to see them as fair weather friends.. friends whom I can have coffee or dinner with but cannot rely on when i needed a shoulder....

Sometime in the afternoon, as I was cutting the materials for the awards invitation cards, I thought to myself... " to the heck with the bills! so what if I only have a few hundred bucks to last myself till my next pay which i dunno when will it come? so what if I do not have a career at 28? so what if I am still a temp at my age? I shall just see how far this will carry me to!"Prob it's my unreasonable-ness streak in me that is pushing me on... I want to be travelling round the world to do world class events, I want to be known as a great event manager!!

This evening, my classmate told me of a job opening at her company.. told me to give it a shot... still considering.... maybe I should... =)