Sometimes I think to myself, I'm fine.. it's been so many years so it should be fine....
At least till Friday I still persist to think I am fine...
Until you said that particular phrase to me out of anger, prob to you it is due to disobedience...
It brought back the memories that laid buried in my mind for so many years...
The taste of blood, the pain on the skin, the fear that I buried all seem to come out so vividly...
He used to say that particular phrase before he laid his hands on me thus I became very sensitive to that phrase and the kind of energy that is associated with it...
While most ppl in such a situation would seek help, share with friends, I kept mine in... vowed never to say cos I wanted to bury it deep down within me, take it as bad dream and eventually I would wake up from it...
I did eventually... but I was scarred for life... physically and mentally... a physically scar to make me remember for life the foolish things we would do for one and another... it's part of growing up.. some people have it most people dun... mentally I know I am not the same person as before, although I looked the same, there will be time I shun away from the same species of ppl, I hardly can get comfortable with them, sometimes I even tried telling myself, I'm gonna be alone for the rest of my life because of this...
Now that you have opened up that past, you made me doubt your integrity, your true self and the story of you throwing your ex gf out of the car... it will take me time to heal again... to self heal again
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