Breakfast at Starbucks

I took some time today in the morning to head down to Starbucks for breakfast... Manosh said it was good and I had to try and I'm glad I did cos it's to die for and inexpensive as well... money worth spent...

With a cup of tea in my hand and my 'trusty' hp, i sat outside at the balcony for a while... looking at the ever familiar environment, the roads, cars and the beautiful trees outside the balcony... it reminded me of the days when i was in uni, mugging for exams, I remember plonking myself on one of the seats from the time they opened their doors till they close... I remember the quiet mornings on weekdays and only expat ladies sat on the same level as me... they were chatting away while their kids ran around the area... I remember I asked myself, if I would become like them... get married, have kids and sometimes meet friends for breakfast... at that point, i really just wanted to be a homemaker and wait for the husband to be home from his hard day at work...

Fast forward till now, I hardly can foresee myself getting married, although I still wish to settle down... but with my own career starting to take flight, it will be difficult to tell myself to give up everything and be a homemaker... unless I love the man way too much to do that... but the possibility is rather small... those carefree days are gone and now taking a break is a luxury... last time, going for drinks meant a cold soft drink or ice cream at the nearby fast food joint... now, it meant pints of beer, alcoholic drinks, mixers, shots etc... speaking of which, i havent had a drink for a long time... I like to go for a nice slow drink at one of the pubs at HV and people watch... havent done that for a while... I wish to do that soon...

Cold dreams...

I had a long wednesday night with a friend.. by the time i got home, it was already 330am... took a shower, did some stuff on the computer.. zzzz time was almost close to 6am... although i was really tired, i had a hard time sleeping... tossed and turned like a salad and irritated the hell out of boy boy who couldn't sleep becos of my movement... eventually he got off my bed and went to sleep with my mom... *oops* I think I finally fell asleep at about 645am...only to be woken up at 1030am by my phone.. my job agent had called me for a job opportunity... these ppl work too hard...



I couldn't sleep anymore... so i got up and did some other stuff.. only to find myself sneezing non stop... brother had a bad cough and flu.. and i was wondering if his flu virus had visited me as well.. *eeps!* I quickly took refuge in my room, only to be sneezing even more... took a little nap as i start to feel my body aching and the flu bug working its magic on me...



i woke up to Joslin's phone call... asked to meet for coffee at Chinatown... alrighty... maybe going out would help me shake off the flu bug.... it was an uneventful dinner... she had a whole lot of phonecalls coming in from her travel mates who couldnt decide if they want to go on a trip together and was arguing about it, putting my poor friend in a difficult position...



after that, i got home and realised there's no dinner again... mom on strike with me is not a good thing... macdonalds is not a long term solution as well... sigh... went to bed early that night... took a flu tablet and started on my whole night of dreams...

dreamt of somebody close to heart... then dreamt that my two brothers were arguing over some family issues... and started to fight amongst themselves and in the end, my brother dropped my little nephew and caused him to bleed badly... the next scene happened in a hospital where my little nephew was and needed blood transfusion and the two of them were still fighting and to make things worse, my mom was fighting with me over the same issue... anyway, i woke up with a leg cramp... ppl say dreams are like a reflection of your deepest fears.... not sure what this reflections though...

Unreasonable-ness

I received my pathetic salary this morning... paid off my bills, there's only a even more pathetic portion left.... I was very preoccupied with this "how to survive" notion this whole morning... I never felt changing a career would be so tough... I never thought that my unreasonable-ness streak in me would take me so far.... This is something new I learnt about myself as well... I've come a long way since April... Friends who were with me the whole journey saw a change in me... they saw me being more persistent about the jobs I took on... no more data management related jobs, no more high paying jobs.. just event related positions... even if it means S$6 per hour kind of salary... I do admit that although the environment sucks here, I learnt a lot from May. A lot about logistics, eavesdropped on the way they plan for their events, learnt about the licenses they needed to apply for walkathons, for awards presentations... but still... the fact remains... the pay sucks...

I was looking for better paying jobs online... and the thought about going back to data management work came creeping back.... the pros outweighed the cons... by a whole lot... higher salary, faster way to save up to US trip, more interviews.... I know Cubix is upset with me for not keeping my promise to visit her at the end of the yr... but with money so tight, saving is even impossible... much less an air ticket....

I think the worst part of this whole career change is that i dun get support from my closest friends... maybe because they do not feel that I treasure them a whole lot cos we've been through our schooling yrs together... maybe they haven't been through a career switch... maybe they made the right choice about their career the moment they left school... I remember this phrase from a close friend in the group, " You are so messy right now, dunno what you are doing.. sigh..." I stopped in my tracks when I heard that.. I felt XX was the one who knew the most, yet when that came out, I stopped telling the rest of them where am I working, what am I planning to do simply because I dun think they would even want to know... I start to see them as fair weather friends.. friends whom I can have coffee or dinner with but cannot rely on when i needed a shoulder....

Sometime in the afternoon, as I was cutting the materials for the awards invitation cards, I thought to myself... " to the heck with the bills! so what if I only have a few hundred bucks to last myself till my next pay which i dunno when will it come? so what if I do not have a career at 28? so what if I am still a temp at my age? I shall just see how far this will carry me to!"Prob it's my unreasonable-ness streak in me that is pushing me on... I want to be travelling round the world to do world class events, I want to be known as a great event manager!!

This evening, my classmate told me of a job opening at her company.. told me to give it a shot... still considering.... maybe I should... =)

What Rain means to me...

A few friends have asked me why do I love Rain... they usually say, " come on, wah lau, he's not even good looking, only got a six pack what.. i also have"

I thought for a while before doing this post... cos maybe to friends who are older than me, they would think, aiyoh, this kind of face one usually playboy 'patten' one... but honestly, i'm not into his looks... ppl who know me long enough will know that there are characteristics in ppl whom i am drawn to...not every single eyelid guy i like ok...

I remember when i first saw 'Full house", a korean drama acted by Rain, I wasn't so into him.. just thought his face looked damn comical... it wasn't until I heard one of his songs... 'I do' from one of the illegal downloads( sssshhh...) that I started to sit up and take note of this guy... he has a rich deep voice... at that moment when I heard it, it felt as if I was taken into another world...*yes it sounds out of this world, but it's true*

I began to find out more about him... eventually, I was drawn to his background and his values... lived in a poor family and lost his mother to diabetes bcos they were too poor to treat her... he promised his mother at her deathbed, that he would do her proud... when he first started out, he worked really hard, surviving on two hours of sleep each day... remembering his promise to his mother each day... eventually he won the most prestigious award in Korea for singing and dedicated it to his mother... prob most of you might think, come on, which star who rose up did not have such a background... it's up to u to believe...

Seeing Rain today means that dreams do come true... maybe working in a corporate world for such a long time made me forget this... that dreams do come true... if u are willing to work hard enough... we slog each day for the sake of money but yet we forget our initial dreams and vision... Rain kept in mind his dream.. and in most of his interviews, he has encouraged young ppl to pursue their dreams.. that dreams do come true if we try hard enough...


Superstar Rain Sends Message of Love; Gives Warmth to Orphaned Babies
(credit: Rainsingapore)