To the peacock who lost its feathers

We did a test in the office the other day to find out what bird personality we were. Mine hovered around being a peace loving dove and a flamboyant peacock...

Everyone felt that i was more peacock than a dove due to my outgoing personality.. What they did not know is that the peacock nature was carved out of me during my event days..it wasnt the real me...the real me is like eeyore.. Quiet, passive and blue...recently at work, due to the competition from another peacock, i've turned more into a dove lookalike human being.. In fact, i hate the competition.. I wanted to be a team player and work together...why fight when u are from the same team?

Work has turned into a mundane job for me now.. The project has rolled out but there's only me managing the whole thing. I am trying my best but maybe my best is not enough for the management.. I worked day and night in silence.. On my own.. Something which i have never done in my whole career.. I resented work because of this... I feel upset to go to work, pissed at the sheer amount of work that was on me alone and nobody was offering help...

I contemplated to throw in my letter and get something else.. I'm still hanging in there for the time being.. Until i find something better i guess. I used to enjoy my work there but since the other peacock came, it seems as if i have lost my feathers... Looking more like a timid dove though... Hopefully this period will pass faster and things will get better..

Long busy week...

It has been a long and busy 2 weeks... with the skin allergy that I had, work has been delayed and I did all I could to clear all the work that has been sitting on top of me when I'm busy scratching...

I spent the last thursday and friday clearing everything... I sat down and quieten myself to work... By Friday night, I cleared almost 90% of my work... I left work at 830pm, happy that I managed to finish majority of my pending work. Despite missing some of the deadlines, I'm still glad I made it by Friday.

I realised that work has been alright for me although I have been upset over certain reporting structures and other nitty gritty... I also realised that in order to survive in any place, you got to tell yourself to stop hearing all the negative things in the office... so and so is leaving, so and so is unhappy, so and so is .... when I started this job, all I cared about was the money and the fact that it allowed me to go home on the dot so that it allows me to do all other things that I wanted to. I didnt know what has changed.. maybe it was the permanent position or the added responsibilities, I get easily swayed by all the negative things that people are saying into my ears...

I learnt my lessons well.. i left a lot of jobs in the previous companies due to such negativity... but i realised when you listen to such things, you tend to forget the main motive of taking up this job... i left events to do an admin job... but yet, giving my past experience in events, i'm tasked with almost all their events... be it good or bad, i'm glad because there is still a small relevance to my passion... my bosses see me as somebody who can do bigger things in the job and i see everything they task me to do as a form of training for the bigger things in life... if i cannot even handle such a tiny thing, how else can i handle a bigger job? So when my neighbours are complaining of overwhelming work, unreasonable bosses and all other sorts, i'm just glad that i have this job that pays the bills, lets me expand my potential and even let me do a little bit of events...

Me and you...

I think it is just me...

I tried to help you to find something that helps...though not a lot but it eases the burden a bit... but why do I feel as if this is not something you were looking for and it's as if I forced it down your throat? Why do I heard grumblings more than sighs of relieve? Was I wrong?

Now that we started on it together, why do I find it hard to tell you that during the past 1 month I have felt enmity from some of them and I push you away from me because I didnt want you to have the same fate as me? Why is it hard for me to explain to you that you and I have a difference and the difference separates us in the eyes of others and it impacts how others see you as well? Some things which I have overheard in the washroom, corridors and all, how should I share it with you to explain why I am so indifferent at work?

I wish you would just understand and yet dun change our relationship... while I try to be nice and non political, I have learnt the hard way to play this game... if you choose to be nice, you only stand to lose this game and lose it badly... survival of the fittest, I have learnt it well... keep myself away from prying eyes and only in those who will pull you in times of danger... only then I can safeguard myself.... there are times, I hate myself for putting on a mask but this is the way I survive through the jungle where everyone is ready to bite and swallow you whole in my previous industry...

I wish somebody else was here to share this burden with me.... it is only such times that I think of him... I'm sure he will teach me how to handle such fragile relationships and yet grow from it... without him, i just got to learn how to protect myself by myself...

Thinker or Do-er?

Sometimes if you look at job descriptions, they tell you they want somebody who is independent yet a team player... you wonder which type do they exactly want... but what the heck, you like the job scope, you go for it..

Soon enough, these people call you up for interviews, and you dress your best, put on some rare makeup, a suit sometimes and those killer heels and go for an interview with your potential employers...

During the interview, you go and impress the people there, go through the momentum of fighting for more moolah... and you prepare yourself for a new job! woohooo!!

Then you go through the couple of first weeks.. nothing much to do, read more and more materials... and then you start doing some piece of work and then you wonder how come this piece of job is done this way... but when you question, your boss tells you, just do it.. dun question so much...

but some pieces of work needs a lot of thought thru... so do they exactly need a do-er who does exactly what you want, not knowing what is in store or a thinker who can warn you of any serious repercussions?

Lessons learnt...

It's been a while since I blogged... a lot of things have happened and a lot of lessons have been learnt throughout this... let's recap...

Office

A lot of my colleagues left... they served their notice and left... office is a lot more quieter than usual... sometimes i wonder if it is good or bad... good cos then i can work in peace.. bad is bcos the air seems to be so dead, morale seems low... new colleagues came quickly to fill in the void.. but i guess it is just not the same... from a newbie in the company, i quickly got promoted to one of the old birds around... i got also to see for myself how others interact with each other and how quickly they want to try to bond with each other so that they can work better in the long run... i dun like such pretence... for me, the bonding comes naturally, be it thru work or thru lunch... it's natural... do not need to cultivate purposefully though...

Work has been tiresome... a lot of work has been piling up due to some miscommunications and time is needed to clear my stuff for my own project... it has been lagging and yes, i do feel the pressure to pull it back on track... but i guess next week should be a better week... I have managed to finish my ocbc cycle and can fully concentrate on Biathlon and my upcoming projects... the battle has just begun...

speaking of ocbc, it's an experience to remember... be it the good or bad... if it's good, u learn from it, if it's bad, u learn not to go down the same route... but yes, it has been a rewarding 3 days... an eye opener to see how real event companies work... of cos, it's also a good networking session i had with the sponsors which I feel was the best thing i could ever get from this event...

Personal

I attended Wakin's concert... satisfying... lots of memories... his songs have been with me since 14... and i have not missed any of his concerts except for the 20th anniversary and the lee guitars cos i had nobody to go with me... this time round, i had jean with me... by the time, he sang the second song, i already had tears in my eyes.. it was the sincerity that i could feel that moved me... but then again, i'm a crybaby to begin with...

I haven't had a personal life for a while since i'm always stuck at work and weekends are always stuck with attending events for work related reasons... it's a learning curve i guess... the more ppl i know & the more i know about the things happening around me, the better it is for me...

I guess that's so much for my poor non existent social life.. sigh....

hmmmm....

this 2 weeks have been a tough time... although we had chinese new yr, we also had a funeral to attend to.. besides that, i also had some personal stuff to attend to...

work wise, things have been fine other than some gossip that have been floating around regarding the last event i organised... well, while gossips have always been around, it's such a shame that gossips even travel all the way to other departments, other clubs... to me, gossips are entertainment which should be contained within the department becos with other departments around, you should always been seen helping your own teammates and not stabbing them with a knife... such a disappointment...

i toyed with the idea of moving on... i couldn't take the gossips as well as the ridiculous procedures they have in the office... i spoke to my manager and some other colleagues about it... and the next min i know, somebody else from another department asked me when is my last day... wow.. the abused power of communication...

i went out with my ex colleagues from symc last night... went to get my skates before going for dinner... will be going to learn inline skating which is why i need to get my skates... dinner was ok but prob because i have really detached from the corporate world, i didn't really have anything to say... maybe we just grow apart...

after dinner, we managed to go river hongbao to visit some of my old colleagues... some of the china students were there working and of cos, sharon is still there. this yr is relatively smaller than the previous year, pretty much same concept but i guess it's more managable... all of us had either toe cramps or blisters walking in our covered heels... hehe... the trip home was also a rather quiet one... oh well...

anyway, ppl change and ppl move on... something that malcolm taught me... change is the only constant in this world.. how true...

Breathless...

My first event is finally over... but not without glitches... first my logistics person didn't not to show up, then the venue decided not to let my vehicles in and caused major delay and somebody decided to break his arm at my event. However, thankfully, the weather was so good that most of us got sunburnt... or is it just me?

Honestly, I thought I could have a short break before running back in the race... well, i guess not... we had some probs internally and honestly, it was a stupid mistake to have in the first place... while i brought it up before, it was turned to deaf ears and now it has become a big issue... but it is also through this prob that i saw how cold blooded some of these guys can be... i wondered to myself, who am i working for? a bunch of idiots who loves to play the blame game or ppl who loves to find fault with others?

I took a short break this morning...wanting to go visit uncle this morning... i haven't visited him since i worked hard at hot & breathless... he's been in hospital for a while and the last i heard, he is just buying time... he looks frail and can hardly talk... unlike the uncle that i knew almost ten yrs ago... the one who cooked fabulous food, loved a good laugh and shared my passion for good food... he knew his time is up... he can't see his grandchild grow up and nor hear him call him "ye ye"... and yet, while at the hospital, i kept having msgs from my bosses to go back to office for a stupid overdue department meeting... i wish i could lashed out at her.... i wish i could have just taken more time off to spend time with uncle... but i am so tied up at work that I am just not able to...

sometimes i wonder, which is more important? family or career? i fought hard for my career last time...only to see it crumble... i neglected my family at that point in time... only thinking of bringing in money for the family... until my uncle passed away then i realised how much they are important to me... now that i have the time for them, i have a irritating boss who doesn't see that as my priority... while i give all my best at work, it seems to her, it is not enough... so yes, working there sometimes can be breathless...

i wish for somebody to be by my side now... yes, i have to admit, i still miss you... no matter how much u have hurt me.... but time will heal wounds... but time will not erase my memories of you... btw, happy belated birthday...

Long weekend...

No.. i dun mean a holiday on mon... i had an event on sat... thus for the past one week, i've been at work with my colleagues till late into the night... although, i was working on some other project, it's really the bonding that matters... it gave us the platform to know each other better...

Honestly, no event is perfect.. there's bound to be hiccups in one way or another... the movers came late to pick up the goodie bag items, the packing started late and we almost didn't have time to go back to office to shower and change for the night... the registration started with no warning and everything was in a mess, instructions passed down at the last min but not everyone heard the latest news... it's common... but i guess i was really upset as my own personal friend was roped in for fun but ended up being so stressed out at the registration counter where she was not supposed to be... i didn't want to blow up at my own team mates but i had to get it out of my system, so i complained to my boss... after that, i told myself, i should not even mention this at the debrief...

if you ask me what goodness i got out of this event, it's really how to manage myself at events in public... several times, i had the urge to shout at ppl who created the mess... but kept telling myself that's not gonna help the problem... thus, i left the event with a stomach full of anger, although i wanted to go get myself a few alcoholic drinks... i went home, hungry and upset... prob some food will do me good... so i got myself an ice cream... by the time i was calm and happy, it was like 2am... i needed my bed by then...

honestly, i enjoyed working in this team bcos i can really be myself... did i ever tell you that my colleagues are very adorable? at least the closer ones... Sebas, my boss or superior he calls himself, is somebody who is very knowledgable with the event work.. gives me good insight on a lot of things and sees things from a bigger view that I cannot seem to see... working with him for just 2 mths, i've learnt a lot.. the downside? he's needed by so many ppl that there's hardly time left for him... nicholas whom we affectionately call nicky boy, has been the one providing all the fun and laughter in the office... with him, it feels comfortable... i can speak the truth without worries and yes, my stomach hurts from all the laughter that he provides... liling, a very helpful person whom i see as nic's best bud... sings in symphony with nic and reacts to nic's jokes and funny actions... with them around, my stomach hurts twice as much... kris... (if nic reads this, he will go hmmmm...) my senior director that everybody so hates... but yet, although she displays zero EQ and pushes us a whole lot, it is also through talking to her that i get ideas for my various events... she has no limits, she believes the only limits is yourself... think bigger and larger... and yes, that is what i like about her... dream big... the rest of my colleagues requires more time to nurture the bond and friendship.. but yes, when the time is right, i will describe them to my readers as well...

Sometimes I feel grateful...

I woke up on last Sat, feeling grateful... because I had finally had one sat which I did not need to wake up early, did not have any plans to go anywhere and I could just laze around at home with my cats, watching tv and literally, watching the clouds roll by... As I looked further down into my heart for the source of that strange happiness, I realised that, despite the economic downturn in this part of the world, I still had a job or rather, just started on a job which allows me to do what I love... maybe the environment is not all perfect, there are gossips, ppl whom you just cannot work with.. etc.. but I'm happy there.. because other than the irritating ppl, I have a bunch of colleagues who can share my passion for events, a boss who understands my need for inspiration before I can work on my slide deck and most of all, I still had a job that needed me and allowed me to pay my bills... so despite the huge amount of work and numerous arrows *reminds me of what Jarrod said about being a dartboard* that come shooting at me... i'm grateful...

On this job, I learnt a lot more about the different kinds of events... i took time to visit the standard chartered run event.. although i'm not running but i saw a lot of things which i felt i could incorporate into my own events, a lot of things which my colleagues have been sharing with me over the past one mth and i could see with my own eyes at the event... prior to that, i visited the sports and fitness expo where i found many different products in the market whom i feel i could approach to for booths, sponsorship etc.. i also went for the world slalom championships and saw the world class skating professionals do various stunts on wheels... something which i have never seen before...

It is also on this job that I had the experience of being chased out of carparks cos i was illegally distributing flyers to promote our events... though the event was not something i had organised but it was a team effort... and although, walking the whole of clarke quay and robertson walk area on heels was torturous, the teamwork feeling was incredible... and of course, we had lots of fun... and this is also where our bonding strengthened... because without a strong bond or even the basic element of trust, you can never produce any event on your own...

Of course, there are times where you bitch about the job as well... ppl whom you think should use more of their common sense, sponsors who try to squeeze everything out of you when you already have given them the best and of course, the ever-irritating counterparts whom i work with... but i take all of them positively... bcos if i take it personally or negatively, it would soon eat into me and take over the fun and enjoyment i have in my job... take it as a lesson to be learnt.. becos only when you emerge from the situation, then you can consider yourself as a winner...

As I blog in my office, I feel the tonnes of work creeping up onto me and haunting me... and this morning, my ipod refused to switch off.... i guess it's really time for me to plug in and just ignore the rest of the world and just indulge myself in my little world of work... =)

Flight or fight?

Is it fright that I am encountering now as I sit down at Starbucks to go thru the stuff that I have to solve for my 2 upcoming events? It seem daunting... i remember this image that YB gave me when we were out shopping for his D&D clothes... he said the credit card machine which the sales use to swipe the card with is liken to a huge aligator with its mouth open, showing all its sharp teeth and just waiting for your card so that it can chomp on your credit limit...I laughed at the image that was conjoined in my brain... now.. that image is in my brain again... it's as if it's just seated right in front of me... baring its teeth and just waiting for me...

how do i go about working it thru? YB said the project is way too big for an exec to be handling on her own.. i say that is the culture of the work environment here so i gotta learn to adapt to it.. but of cos, having said so, it is also a good exposure... once u go thru it, u will know there is nothing to be afraid of and you will be more open to such things and also more confident in one way or another... it's not something that i can tell to my work colleagues or bosses... but i still do know how to ask for help when i need it... it's just me... or maybe something that somebody has taught me before.. "ask and i will do it for you.. if you dun ask, i will assume u can do it yourself."

of cos, there has been cases where i chose flight more than fight cos I am not confrontational by nature.. but i guess when it comes to work, I will need to condition myself to be more confrontational... afterall, if u cannot be an Alpha female, you will only be stepped all over in events.. so all my colleagues in events have been Alpha female in one way or another...and they are very good examples... esp when u work with male species who are quite MCPs... they are held in high esteem in their area of work and to prove them wrong, esp when u are a female will be quite detrimental to their ego...

fight on... i will fight to make my point, fight to stay on my feet and most of all, fight to stay on par with them...

Expired friends..

I first heard this phrase from a close friend.. i remembered me asking her what is the definition of expired friends... she told me it's basically ppl whom u dun talk to anymore cos u realise there aren't many or no common topics to talk about anymore... i guess it is a common thing until it strike myself...

The same friend had asked me to join her colleagues for a board game session one night.. we had met the previous night for dinner to celebrate the nov babies' birthday... but what was different was that i didn't have the familiar ex colleagues around.. only her and another friend and their 4 other colleagues... i declined, knowing full well i will be left out... and with a briefing session that was going on on the same day, all i wanted was just to chill at some watering hole... so that day, my work ended at close to 730pm and i did end up meeting another friend to have a couple of drinks....

Some time later after this incident, one of them asked me if i had declined the invitation simply bcos i felt left out... i guess so... i could no longer appreciate systems and all that... so if they are gonna start talking about things that happen at work, i guess i would be bored... and also similarly for them, if they keep hearing about my work, they would get bored too... and then that friend said something like "yeah, i guess once u settle down, we might just drift apart too cos we wouldn't have much to talk about too"... well, maybe this is what we call expired friends...

anyway, another person tendered at work this evening... that makes 5 this month... not that i am affected by the culture or anything but i guess it is demoralising... u barely know this bunch of ppl and have done 2 events together, u're building up the rapport and they are going again... esp when in events, u dunno who u can rely on when u are the overall in charge... u can't be doing everything yourself and yet u cannot find anybody to help u... but in the meantime, i'm trying to keep my chin up... although everyone is telling me it's not worth it to put in effort for even the slightest thing, but i guess it is really the respect u have for your own job... u just want a good job done... no matter how small.. cos in events, it matters a lot...

island's dnd is coming up soon... quite excited about it... afterall, this is something that i had participated in most parts of it and i really think it is gonna be a good job done... =) shall update u once it's over...

Clubhouse life...

How should I describe this? While I am open to such things, too much of it is simply a turn off.. esp when you are in a serious meeting?! This is prob something that I need to get used to... another thing is a colleague who is such a braggart... brags about how chases girls, how much he drinks and all that good old days shit... turn-off.... bleah...

those aside, the real work is starting.. i'm assigned a major project and now starting to do up the slides for the first executive committee meeting... *sweat* dunno how to go about doing it and dunno what to expect... and how am i gonna handle my counterparts... stand firm on my ground and make sure everyone listens to me... basically be an Alpha female... this is the real world.. u need to stand firm otherwise ppl will step all over you... *pant* gotta pick up things fast and move fast... *pant pant*

I've never handled such a huge project before and I tell you I am freaking out in one way or another... imagine if you plan for the event and nobody comes.. *eeps!* or worse, you end up with very negative comments about the event.. *eeps!!!!* I'm telling myself to be positive.. everything will be fine... things will turn out good... well, at least i hope so... :

ok.. shall go work on my slides now... and then i will need to go for another training session... ~Aja Aja Fighting!~

Bored bored bored...

I thought I wouldn't need to update my blog in the office.. but I was utterly so bored that I had to update it to kill some time...

Updates

I know i should have done this earlier.. but i felt i didn't wanna let so many ppl know.. i prob dun see the need to... I have completed my island job and found something permanent in the events industry...

When i left the island job, i had a tinge of regret.. my work with them is not done.. i still have one outstanding event to complete and i feel bad leaving it to them to handle.. but the team was gracious enough to accept my reasoning and wished me good luck.. on the last day, my boss wrote a touching email to thank me for my hard work.. u know, this is really the first time i felt i was appreciated for my work as a temp girl...

On my last journey out, I thought of how proud somebody would be of me.. I took a shot of the last sunset I would see on the island and ended my chapter with island... i haven't told u how much i love the sunsets that i can see on the island... with no high buildings, the sunsets are just beautiful...

I started work at my new company immediately..only a weekend to rest... so far it has been what i expected.. although my worries is that the turnover is relatively high, I'm sure i will stay put until I have accomplished what I wanted to accomplish in the first place... ppl here are nice and friendly.. so far so good...

then recently, I have finally taken my korean language.. after talking for so long about it.. my cubix is already coming back.. and i was supposed to be an expert by the time she comes back...bah! so it's gonna be a course of 10 lessons... and i'm halfway thru it... i can say the basic words, pronounce the basic words... but if u ask to write or form sentences, it might just take a tad longer.. and most importantly, my textbook has to be with me... hehehe... but i'm working towards being proficient enough to make it my 4th language... so this yr's xmas present i'm hoping for a korean dictionary... so that i can widen my vocab...

Canele - where chocolate is a lust..

Caroline, Eileen and I went for a girls' night out after our food tasting session at The Legends. I think we all needed a break and it seemed like a good time... we decided on Canele at Paragon and indulged in the various chocolate sins that they had to offer... it was definitely a decadent night... chocolate was so rich and smooth that somehow, it made me feel so happy..*drool*

The story of boo boo little Kate

And the story goes like this….

Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Kate.. she works on far far away land called Jurong Island, so everyday she has to wake up early to go to work.

Then one day, little Kate decides to go to work earlier to finish up her work and thus, she left the house before the sun came out to play and got on her way to the company shuttle bus. As she approaches the bus bay, she saw the company bus driving into the bus bay and in her mind she thought to herself, “ shit, why the bus so early?!” So little Kate decides to dash across the road and runs to the bus. She manages to get onto the bus and promptly finds herself a seat while the bus driver starts to move.

Just as little Kate settles in her seat, she realizes she might be on the wrong bus! She thought to herself again, “how come these ppl dun look intelligent one ah?? Shit, got on the wrong bus… where this bus goes ah??” So little Kate sat on the bus, eyeing on the route which the driver is taking and wondering if she will even end up in another far far away land called Tuas.. as luck would have, little Kate manages to reach Jurong Island check point on the wrong bus and now has another problem. Where does she find the right bus that goes to her workplace? She looks at every single bus that goes through the checkpoint and finally manages to spot the right bus!! Hurray!!

As little Kate makes her way up to the right bus, she smiles and beams happily at the driver. Usually, little Kate does not smile that happily at the driver and this time, the driver is taken aback by little Kate. As little Kate settles in her seat again, she is just glad she found the right bus to work.

The End

A decision is made...

and no regrets about it... although there was a high chance to be converted, as things have moved on till this stage, it is hardly any other way out... i dun want to be there as well.. no matter how many happy memories we had during the short period i worked there, it's over...

of cos, i'm upset at the way things turned out... it's a lesson learnt.. never to work for micro managers... it kills everything... bad aftertaste....

at least now i can move forward... so i'm happy... =)

happy go lucky-healthy-wealthy

I heard this phrase on my way to meet uncle charlie and the rest for dinner on sat... this cab uncle was telling me the philosophy of his life... if u are happy, then u will be lucky and if u are happy and lucky, you will feel good and then you will eat well and u will be healthy and with a healthy body, you will work fine and u will be wealthy...
it was a nice short conversation with the cab uncle... he showed me his family potrait of which his kids are around my age and has his good looking genes... *a family of cuties!*

i've had a long long week... week started out bad and ended with a tinge of desperation in my broken soul... i had been penalised for things which was not executed properly... part of it is my fault, part of it was not mine... things got rather bad that I had asked the girls out for a "sex and the city" kind of gathering.. just sit round, have a nice dinner and just bitch about things and the irritating stubble man... i wished things were better... weekend was good... i had lazed around at home and had met uncle charlie and the rest for dinner.. it was nice catching up with them... the girls and i had a short catch up session again after the dinner before we left off for home... on sun, i took some 'me' time... took a bus and went down to thomson to get some roses for myself... went for a manicure after that and basically relaxed at home...

this week i guess is off to a bad start... had a closed door meeting with my boss... confronting me of my relationship with the vendor... the way it seems to me, boss didn't agree with the fact that i was very chummy with my vendor and it seems to undermine boss's status... now that i have somewhat been given a second chance at work, which to be honest, is really keeping me cos there's things to be done, but just not the project related work, i was told to prove my worth... i still dun see my own faults but i think it is just the way the hierarchy works in the company... i feel stifled... i do not like hierarchies... i still prefer the old mnc way of working i guess...

the other night, a friend asked me if i still needed time to sort my thoughts out about him... i dun deny that i still miss him.. i was at jumbo seafood the other night and flipping through the menu, i saw this dish of fried baby octopus and got reminded that he told me he had tried it and liked it... yes, heart sank for a while but soon, i was fine... the damage is done and is still there... but i know i will survive... maybe with many scars but eventually i can laugh heartily... things are just getting better...

Work & me...

I've had a long week at work... most ppl too... preparations for the event is going on track... everything needs to be set for the big stage... 6 weeks more to go for the event... my first event on my own... i tell myself i need to learn everything that i need quickly and apply it on this project... i'm glad that i have my colleague and director who believe in me... they let me persist in my own thinking and explore various options, guide me when i need some light at the end of the tunnel... i'm sure i'm in good hands... and unless something major crops up, i'm sure this event will be a great success...

i've been told not to work so hard since I'm not a full time staff... just do what my little bit of salary warrants and get home to rest and get a life... oh well, different schools of thought i guess... i'm a workaholic...i know that for a fact.. although i can be a professional bummer when i want to, however, when i start to work and focus on the job, i'm like a crazy bee on a rampage... i hunt the ppl that i need down and work till my last drop of energy... i basically like to put in my best effort for everything...

something strange happened this week as well... i was fighting against time for some schedule to be produced and was cracking my brain on how to solve the problem i had on hand... all of a sudden i stopped in my tracks, took a deep breath and told myself, maybe this is a good time to have a ciggie.... suddenly i understood why smokers need to smoke, suddenly i understood why the last ciggie was hard to quit for some of them, despite trying probably zillion years... it's a weird feeling to get for a non smoker i guess...

I took a longer lunch break on friday... i went down to meet wendy at church st... it's the big day for our beloved jun ki... his photos will be displayed at the Korean Tourism Office... and he is the first actor to have their pictures displayed.. and it's not just 4R pics, it's a huge poster stuck to the wall, mind u... here's some of the pictures i took...





wendy and I took some pictures and it felt so good to meet her again since the last gathering we had... we had our lunch at the TCC cafe next door and i gave myself a little treat...



a cup of Blue Mountain coffee... it's something that I have always loved but felt it was expensive... so i only have it when i need a little pick me up... I sent this pic across to somebody whom I felt needed a good coffee break as well... not sure if that person understood my intentions or not though....

it's definitely a good break... i gone back to work and went flying around the whole office looking for my marcom ppl for their advice on some issues i'm facing... time passes faster when u need them the most i guess...

Work rant...

I told myself i shouldn't blog about work in case i get into trouble with whatever confidential data or nonsense... but honestly, i need to get it out of my system...

my jobscope includes keeping track of the client's inventory... i went down on wednesday to start unpacking and cleaning up the place... i didn't think much of it as i felt it's the initial stage of setting up the warehouse... so the whole time i was carrying 25kg DHL boxes, dragging them from one point to another... getting myself dirty and sweaty in the old, non ventilated warehouse... deja vu ppl... sounds like cat welfare doesn't it?? here's more... on fri, i was told to stop going to the warehouse and help them clean their office storage space... and also to help them pack for the japan event that's happening next week... alright.. so maybe they do need a lot of help for the event... since my three bosses are going off for the next two weeks, they have planned stuff for me to do... guess what? it comes in a half hourly timetable which i need to fill in daily... and it comes in a planned and actual schedule... and it's something that i need to let the admin girl sign off on a daily basis before i go off for the day... how insulting is that????

i'm not a primary school going kid that needs to go by a half hourly period of timetable u know? if you dun trust me, then simply dun hire me or make somebody stay and watch me... dun do this kind of insulting stuff... and oh well, let's just see how things go for the next 2 days while they are still here... i dun like micromanagement style... it's all HP's fault.... they've trained me to be able to do stuff on my own and then report to my bosses... no questions on how to complete the tasks given, as long as i finish it off by the deadline given... i can take as long as i want or finish it off as quickly as i want... i dun need a timetable to manage me...

oh, then guess what happened in the afternoon? they asked me to clean their communal storage room remember? it's the storage room for the 3 companies under the same brand... so i'm like the cleaning lady.... i pack, unpack, clean, repack and throw all your garbage for you... no guys to help out... carrying every single heavy stuff by myself and ended up spraining my wrist again, i think i just made it worse since the community chest days.... i told shirlyn jokingly that if i survive this job for another 6 mths, i can change industry again! i can go work for DHL or UPS cos those are the exact stuff that I am carrying! Sickening isn't it? As i cleared the room, i kept asking myself what the hell am i doing here?? i mean like i should be doing other stuff and not cleaning out ppl's storeroom and keep having surprise finds! imagine, i actually found a pair of undies belonging to some guy and i bloody hell do not know if it's been used or clean!! OMG!!!!! Can i throw myself off the building?!

I'm waiting for a result from another interview.. it's more prestigious in some manner bcos of the event i will handle... so if that comes, then sayonara this sucky company... keeping my fingers crossed man....

累了

亲爱的
我很想把自己放在一角
把自己封闭起来
让自己好好的哭一场

我累了
很想把一切扔在一边
然后用一切的积蓄
买一张没有目地的飞机票
去流浪。。。

我不想再回到那个公司
天天怕我今天又会做错事
又会让人有那些话可以说
天天回公司是一件很累的事

我对学校也感到很疲惫
数不清的作业
做不完的考试
让我很想放弃
不要再上课
不要再考试

我花了一些时间在我的新生意上
因为我的programming不好
我的排档要做很多的programming
让我很不好意思
今天我再一次尝试
我查一点把那架电脑给匝了

我还有一份功课没做
我已经没力气了
我累了。。。