Tuesday, October 05, 2004

life's little packages...

feeling really down today...maybe because of what happened at work on mon... all the work down the drain... feeling a bit under the weather... with all the work piled on you, who wouldn't feel under the weather...

got out of bed this morning rather reluctantly... took my own sweet time to get to work.. ended up, no matter how hard i took my own sweet time, i was at work on the dot... checking through my mails and realise more work piled... felt so much like just running away from the office, hide in a small little corner and stay there...

a couple of weeks back, i managed to befriend this couple that were drinking coffee at a regular hangout.. the lady was older than the guy by many years.. in fact, she looked like the guy's mom rather than wife... and the guy just looked like he's three years my senior.. anyway, managed to do some small talk and chatted about everything... in that short meeting, they told me their love story and how they managed to overcome difficulties to be together, despite their families' objections... to me, such stories are all unreal.. only existing in drama serials and never in real life... to me, love seems so far away no matter how much i wish for it... i missed you... you know who you are... thanks for all the good times you gave me and all the things you taught me... but i know i can no longer let you know all my problems cos you have a her in your life now... never mind if you are not confident it will last... i dun wish to become a third party... i miss talking to you over coffee, over the phone... i just... just miss you...

the gang asked if i'm able to make it for the crab session on thurs.... i'm sorry.. got kickboxing... think it must be the fact that i'm under the weather that i'm feeling crappy... i felt as friends, maybe you should understand my priorities... not that you guys are not important but i feel that it is not skipping kickboxing that mattered but the fact that you felt that as long as most ppl can make it then i should dump everything and just go meet you guys... however, if i were to ask you guys to dump everything like studies or some other prior appointments to meet me.. would you? to be honest, for two whole weeks i've tried organising to go out for a dinner or just coffee... but the moment you guys heard that it's just that few of us, you backed out.. two weeks in a row... do we have to go out as a whole big bunch of people every time? can we not go out in small groups of three? do we always need the transport? it is indeed convenient but if QF can't go, does it mean we dun go out either?

recently, i've finished my box of vcds... there's nothing much on tv so i'm watching all my vcds again... one of my fav.. korean serial.. success story of the joyful girl... watched it so many times.. be it in korean or chinese, i dun get bored of it... it's something that revives my soul whenever i break down... it's this show that says of how this girl with her optimistic nature succeeds in life... how she finds love with her boss... how she struggles to help him get his company back... maybe it's not enough anymore.. looking for some other vcds to watch.. i switched my user name to i wanna watch vcd on the msn... xxx came online asking me if i wanted to see porno vcds... is it me or just that the way he asked no longer sounds like he's joking? i dunno.. snapped at him... i may be open in thinking but in office hours, i do not appreciate small talk of porn like blowjobs and porno vcds.. i'm not sure if it was because i never state myself clear enough or what... xxx thought i was angry or something... being bullied by somebody.. i was not... i'm just dun wish to hear all that and i tried to find the easiest way to bring it across...


No comments: