one of those days again....

a lot of things happened and one of those days where i lounged at home and basically nothing is right... everything seems wrong...

last night we had a mini showdown session with xxx... we didn't feel good about the way some things were done and we wanted to have better communication among ourselves.. well, we did have communication problems and i think it's good that we say things out to straighten stuff... for some reason, XXX said that i'm not a good person with secrets cos he felt that i have revealed his secret to xxx.. the thing is, that was something different that he knew... of course, if i were to say i was indifferent to it, it would be lying.. but to me, if u dun trust me, dun tell me.. i dun wish to know and i am not interested to know who you are in love with... whether she has a bf or whether it is somebody else... the whole world seems to be trying to help him but he seems to be running on the spot the whole time while complaining about this and that... one person's patience has limits... if u dun need help or you aren't ready to change, then just dun complain so often that it seems to pose as a huge problem to you....

the gang also feels that with my current salary i should be able to afford to give them a good treat... i dun mind a treat and i dun mind picking up the tab but honestly, the constant asking of my salary and the digging at me for my salary is pissing me off... i truly like to tell the whole world that i deserve such a salary range... i didn't cheat or anything to get this salary range... if u want a treat from me cos i've gotten a new job, to celebrate the new job, yes i would pick up the tab.. but if it is because of my salary range, then i'm sorry.. i'm not gonna pick up the tab... cos i believe somebody else in the group has a higher salary than me.... i have always tried to avoid this topic cos i know somebody feels a bit inferior about the salary thingy and i'm trying not to make it so obvious... why can't ppl just be a bit more sensitive?

ppl asked about my job and how is it... i dun feel good about it.. i feel like i dun belong to the group of girls.. there's nothing to talk to them about.. not even work at times... they belong to their own world and i wonder how much of job prospects do i have for this job? a lot of ppl keep saying that this company would give me good exposure or experience but seriously, if you work in there, you wouldn't feel that way... i have thoughts about leaving... even after just 4 days of work.... i think i'm really in a crisis now.. especially with the career thingy... i'm already 25 and i've yet to even have a career... shit...

had a big fight with my brother at home just now... something really minor... he's locking the room door whenever his gf is over... of course i know what is happening but seriously, if he's gonna lock the room up, i'm gonna shift the computer out... and with the shitty gf around, i just get irritated with him.... he hasn't paid me for the computer money... and he's not going to... i wonder why that dumb girl like him.... he doesn't care about the family and that's the kind of man she goes for... i really think she's dumb.... i'm sorry if this doesn't sound nice but she's just a fucking bitch....

anybody who reads this post would know that i've struck a bad streak... temper getting out of control again.. better stay clear of me...