Friday, February 17, 2006

Sometime to myself...

Dear reader,

If you are waiting anxiously for my cats' pics or some other weird pics i always put, pls come back another day... sorry for the disappointment

=============================================

I came back early today.. no appointment no nothing.. actually was supposed to meet henry but changed it last min...i think i needed some time to myself... early morning i had some not so nice news that i can't disclose here to protect the person who risked XX life to tell me... then as work started to kick in, i gradually forgot about the issue and focused on the things that were happening at work...
crisis after crisis, i feel i'm tired.. although the battle is almost done, i cannot help but feel tired.. these few months.. three months to be exact, i've been mentor to the guy in bangalore.. the one who is taking over my work.. i handed over my baby India to him... i gave him all sorts of assistance that he needed.. i shielded him when he cannot handle the country ppl or even my boss... all because he is new... all because India are having more issues than they used to have...
After tonight's incident, I've started to question myself.. question if something has gone wrong with my mentoring... i recalled what XX told me... maybe it's the training? although the rest of the departments are having the same issues as us, not all of them have it... i start to wonder if it is my training that has gone wrong... i bought the idea that my boss gave us that they are just not learning... but after tonight, i think i was slack in instilling the sense of urgency in them... imagine the deadline i gave them was 4pm singapore time and the guy gave me his sloppy work at 6pm with reports not attached together with it and other reports not generated...he went home after sending me his sloppy piece of work... i spoke to his supervisor about him and expressed my unhappiness to him... he started to find reasons for his work and excuses to help him... i told him i didn't need that... if he is not going to buck up, i can almost foresee his fate..
After complaining, it felt good.. but honestly, this is not going to work.. u can complain once, twice, but how many times more? I want to solve the root of the problem... i dun want to have superficial solutions...i thought of giving him retraining... i thought of giving up on him.. but deep down i know, i will not give up... i dun believe he cannot buck up..i dun believe i cannot train him up to standards... i have been there also, i know how confusing it felt... i pulled myself out of confusion, so i dun believe that he cannot do it with me around... of course, this battle, i'm fighting alone cos i know nitin has already given up on him.. he's prob gonna tell me ' sweets, forget it, he's just dumb' but i dun believe it... i wanna give the guy another chance... or else, i shall leave this job with no peace in my heart...

No comments: