Dealing with disappointment...

A lot of times I felt I could handle disappointment well enough...I could see on the bright side of life.. laugh off whatever that has happened and move on with life...but this time is different I guess... it bugged me for a couple of days.. left me unable to work and cant help feeling frustrated... the thing is, in this incident, I learnt not to be so nice anymore... not to be a doormat for people to step on... here's what happened...

a long time school friend asked if I could do a company's logo for his friend... being a newbie at using photoshop, i told him that i'm pretty new at it and might not do a good job.. but he said he didnt mind, after all there is money to be earned.. so why not? so i said alright... and he gave me some vague guidelines with nothing concrete... and he needed in 1 days' time... and he needed 4 logos.... so i dropped everything which i should be doing for my own work to work on his little project as it takes time to create logos and even more so for a newbie like me... so after working through the night, i sent it off in the morning... meeting his deadline...

his comments came back a few days later saying that he liked 1 of the design and wanted me to do more variations for it... and when we met at night, he told me the 7 variations and he wanted it the next morning... i spent another sleepless night at it and sent it off again...

his comments came back a few days later again... and this time he was saying that it was quite ugly... i couldnt believe my eyes when i saw that msg... i sent off my design to a couple of my friends whose comments were like, " it looks good to me." I was not told why was it ugly and no further explanation was given... however, he did tell me that his friend would still pay me for the work done... so i said ok... if he is willing to pay despite not liking it, i was not gonna reject it... so he told me he could pass me the money within the week...

the week came and went... no sign of money... the next week, i asked again over messenger on mon and he suddenly said he wanted the high res file of the logo which he never wanted... something new for me... so for his demands, i had to do that for him and send it to him within the hr as per his request... and then he said he wanted more changes... and he said, " i am not happy with it, of cos I make changes right? It's such a simple thing!" I was upset and frustrated... because of his nonsense, i had to drop everything else to work on his stuff again... and it ruined my monday morning... we met that night... and his first question to me was, " why was the 2nd batch so ugly ah?" I thought it was plain rude and insensitive of him. Maybe being classmates for over 10 yrs, he didnt need to care about my feelings. I asked him what exactly was ugly, he gave me something vague and said something like, its ok, my friend got somebody else to do already.. but what was unsatisfying was that he could not even tell me what was the difference between what he visioned and what I did... so the meeting ended with him telling me that he would transfer the money to me on wed...and i told him why dun u just give your friend my account number so that he can transfer directly into it? he said ok and left...

wed came and 3 sms later, all he could tell me was he is still outside and he will transfer on thurs... i lost it... not only did i not get the money, the promise he made to me to transfer money on wed was broken... and he did not even have the cheek to inform me until i asked... thurs went as well... by then, i told myself, the $100 bucks was a small amount of money to learn my lesson... I was utterly disappointed with this friend who had broken the trust in me and still didnt think it was an issue... fri came... and i thought, well, let's try again.. maybe he was busy... and his excuse was his friend just transferred money to him... and he will transfer to me that night... and as I type, it is already sun.... i sent him an sms to ask about it... no reply...

i dunno what was went wrong... i felt, if your friend has yet to transfer you the cash, tell me upfront... dun make promises that you cannot fulfil... even if you promised and you cant fulfil, tell me what went wrong... i just felt it was not fair... the moment he set a deadline for the things he needs, i fulfil them.. and if i dun think I can make it on time, i try to ask for a longer more realistic deadline... but i still deliver earlier than my promised deadline... at least i expected the same from him... and not disappear like that...

honestly, this is not the first time he has done such a thing.. last time, i used to just accept it as part of his character... but now, I wonder if he just dun treasure this friend that's why he treats me like trash... maybe i am trash to him.. for somebody who does not even have proper career, who does not earn as much as he does... i could jolly well be trash to him... but to me, he was a dear friend whom i have know since i was 13... and such friendships dun come easy... but i guess now its the time to let it go cos i dun want to be treated like trash...but before i trash you, pay me back my money!!!!