Been meaning to write this for the longest time, most of the times I'm stuck.. lost for words.. i'm not one that would admit that i'm having problems... this time round, problems seem to grow bigger and bigger and i need somebody to talk to....
After clearing debts and all, there isn't really much money left in the bank for me... of course, if i save a little here and there, I would definitely manage to scrap through but with colleagues leaving, the passing of a close colleague's father, birthdays and lots of other stuff, money became a big problem...of course, after one good lesson with my ex, I hardly would want to even open my mouth to say I'm in deep shit with finances... In front of all my friends, I'm the one that's earning the most, the one with least problems and the most happy go lucky person on earth... sometimes it's not... the other night, i called Gary... the one and only guy whom i am totally relaxed with... called him and broke down the moment i heard his voice... told him about what happened to my uncle, what happened at work and my money problems... with him, I seem to be much more able to ask about money and all... he promised me to wire some money over but we all know that such things we can't let mabel know... and it will take some time to get the money over because of mabel... the gang offered to lend me some but i declined.. knowing full well that they have their own constraints.... i was touched when they did offer even when i know they are tight...
told gary about work... within two weeks of my new job, i'm already thinking of resigning.. two weeks into the job and the only news that they give me is that they are shifting the operations to Bangalore. Time given to complete the whole operation: one yr... When I started on this job, what they promised me was that I would be able to extend my contract and convert to perm... but they know full well that this operations was going on and they never told me... i dun really need a high paying job.. money to me, as long as it's enough to sustain myself, my family and a little for luxury once in a while, i'm happy. I needed the job satisfaction... i needed the stability to let me plan for my studies and my other stuff... one more year and i'm gonna be 26.. what ever happened to my career? i dun wish to waste more time... i dun wish to spend my time chasing for a salary increment but the job doesn't offer any satisfaction... i'm sick of it... i wanna fulfil my dreams but i know there's always a price to pay for it... a huge paycut and many more yrs to reach where i really wanna be....i'm totally confused about what i should do and what i wanna do...
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