......

Didn't managed to sleep until 5 plus in the morning... was thinking about certain issues and was tossing and turning in the bed....

had about 5 hours of sleep and managed to get gary on the line... *hehe, my turn to disturb his sleep* had some things on my mind and i needed to speak to him.... but then again, i dun do it all the time...

one of my guy friends rang me up the other day and wanted to meet me... of course, it was a great thing to hear from a friend.. especially one whom i have always talked on the phone but never really had time to meet cos our timing always clashes.... he said he happens to be in the area and wanted to meet me for lunch... of course, with somebody to ask me for lunch during a working day, why not? it's something different....

so he came to pick me up in the office... thank god boss not around this week and lunch time was rather flexible.... so met him slightly earlier... went down town for lunch and he was recommending me some great food... lunch was ok.. until coffee...... we found a nice little cosy coffee place to sit down and basically do some catching up... it was only 1230 so i still had the time... ;o) then he was telling me that he had been reading my blog and he felt that he needed to speak to me about it.... i was like... uh huh... like what about it? he was telling me about the part which i said i needed the guy to be courageous enough to speak up and ask me to be his gf... so he asked if i was willing to give up my singlehood to be with him.... *oops* errrmmmm... yes, i admit i was getting to feel lonely and i had asked my friends to introduce to me guy friends so as to widen my circle of friends... but errrrmmmm.... let's just say, i had somebody else in mind?

anyway, i told him i would consider about it.. but if i am not able to give him a proper answer then i would suggest that he give me up... there's really nothing wrong with this guy friend of mine.. he's got great sense of humor, got a great career ahead of him and the best thing is that he's willing to give me space to do the things that i wanna do... he doesn't mind my shape and my looks...* that's what he said* what more can i ask for?

the biggest prob with me is that i like somebody who does not have a career and i dun even know if he likes me or not... with all my friends around me who are getting attached, the pressure seems to be getting greater... but if i were to look at friends around me who are not attached but keep flaunting that so and so is chasing after her, so and so is sending her flowers, i get scared at times.. i dun wish to get attached because of peer pressure... i dun wish to get attached because of somebody asking me the question... some more, i see friends who are attached for some time, but they get problems and they do the most childish things to spite each other, all the more it worries me... would i be like them when i get attached as well? some of my friends, when they break up the long relationship, they blame it on the problems they had, they never seem to notice the third party, never seem to notice if they had been a good gf... but now when they are with the third party, the joy and happiness that they have now is robbed from somebody else...

told gary about all that... the only thing he told me... ' aiyah, u stoopid girl, just go with your heart lor... if your heart belongs to somebody, even if u need to wait, u will be happy... but if your heart not with the person, you will never be happy. ' true.... gary's words are just darn straight and always hitting the bulls eye... maybe it's because he's a guy so he's more rational about such things... :(