it's been a while since i last sat by myself in the night without tv, music or anything of that sort.. just me, myself and well, and meow snoring away on another chair.. =)
lots of things have happened since the last time i updated my blog.... lots of feelings and lots of emotions have gone through me without me writing it down on my blog..
since the day the day CS notified us of the transition plan needed to be done, i've been quiet.. while the rest of the team were complaining about what to write in the plan, taking out what they wrote in case others copied or even doing for others who were not around, i held my tongue... i was not sure to whom i can tell my feelings to.. my team mates might be making plans to find another job or go for another interview, my cube mate thinks i'm kidding when i tried to tell her how i truly felt about the team dissolving.. i am that sentimental when it comes to such things.. i worry about myself last.. i worry about ppl with family, ppl with children first... i know i will miss the good times we had when we are out having lunches, bitching about things at work, the policies, the partners and all other stuff... i'll miss the msn conversations we have, the things we tease each other about.. aspen babe, cheapo, jajamin, and all other stuff.. when i leave the team, i'll leave with a whole bagful of wonderful memories and a bunch of good friends...it's a wonder how i even managed to survive till so long in this job which i hated in the first place... let's just say it's not the changing of jobs that makes me sad, it's the thought of leaving this wonderful team that makes me sad...
i was supposed to be doing some training materials for the new team.. i got all my materials sent to my gmail and loaded them into my laptop.. there i was trying to start on it until i was wondering to myself, how do i actually want to teach them? somethings are not exactly able to be taught.. they are accumulated over time.. i can tell them the facts, probably bore them to tears with it, but that's about all that i can do... the factual things... i can do up something huge and chuck it to them like the way my mentor did.. but that's not gonna help... i wanted to have a personal session with them first before my boss decides to sits in.. get to know them better, know how they learn things best before i start... no such chance...
a few other things popped up into my mind which i can't reveal at the moment... things should get better and hopefully clearer too... maybe then i can reveal them out... part of my mind is still wondering if edward's gonna be in town for xmas.. somehow i feel this is not gonna come true... the gang's so called xmas gathering might not come true either under the leadership of YB.. but i couldn't quite be bothered to go organize it... imagine u try hard enough to organize something and somebody comes up with the answer like this, "if i got time then i come lah" how to include the person or not? i think with this bunch of friends, i've pretty much given up.. dun wanna organise things for ppl who dun seem to be appreciative.. i'll rather hang out with BK or YB during weekends.. go library, go in search of good food, go for coffee and just chat.. i like gatherings like this.. hassle free and no weird answers..
anyway, my system is rather funny these days.. msn keeps logging in and out.. so sometimes i tend to just log out altogether and plus the fact that i'm gonna be away from my desk most of the time, i might not be able to talk much or at all.. so sorry to those regular ones whom i talk to if i sound hostile or anything.. it's really a critical period now... it's either i charge now or i dun and suffer later...
btw, happy birthday pam! I didn't forget your bd... just didn't have the time to log on to send u a card.. hope u like the present i got u... =)
2 comments:
Thanks Kate! Now that you've updated (along with me!), I know partly why you aren't online, and therefore, when you are, I won't bother you...it'll be up to you when we chat so it's convenient....But I do miss our conversations! Oh well. BTW, thanks for the birthday wish...didn't get too many of them, I was bored out of my tree, and I was just having a bad wknd (see my blog) altogether. So now it's better, and I'm better, and I hope you're month goes better too! ttyl!!
Aiya, dun worry so much abt the dissolving of the team. Coz its harsh, but its really reality. You can miss of all them, but how many will miss you? You cannot tell. Take it in stride and then this will make you grow stronger and wiser and be a leader in all to come. :op Ganbatte ne!!
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