Quietness...

Dunno is it me or something else...i'm feeling like a lost soul... floating here and there... lack of vitality, energy... just plain lifeless... u know how it feels like to be wandering aimlessly along the streets? that's how i feel now...

i had a long weekend during deepavali... the week before that was so tiring.. the event finally launched after a mth long of preparation.. and this is only the beginning... long hrs at work, go home, work again, sleep and then go back to work again... it was like that for a good 2 weeks i guess.. my eyes are dry beyond imagination and i can just fall asleep at any location... coffee doesn't do wonders anymore... i remember i was so tired after the launch that while i could see the traffic light was red, my legs seem to bring me across the road... thankfully, the car stopped... and yes, so did my heart cos i literally didn't realise what i was doing until then... but yes, i pushed thru.... when it was finally launched, it felt good.. at least a big part of it is done...

after that, i lazed my whole long weekend away... other than running errands and spending some time at my grandparents place where i have not visited since they passed away, i really did nothing much... it was those days which i lazed in bed and rolled around in bed... period.

maybe it is the lazing around, suddenly i feel that i seem to have lost the aim in my life... i remember somebody in my brain telling me to give up my dream of having my own business and spend the rest of my life working for other ppl... and then i started to wonder abt how tightly i should hold onto my dream... then i thought abt how i should run my business, should i realign my beliefs with my feelings now, clean away watever that was there before and start again or drift along...

during that week long of torture, i had a realisation time with my business partner.. maybe bcos we're friends and we think we think alike.. i realise finding a business partner is similar to finding a life partner.. one wrong step and there goes... of cos, he has his strengths but there are also areas which i wish he would work on... same goes for me... i'm not exactly the best partner anybody could have.. a lot of my work partners can testify that.. esp when i have changed into events, i have become demanding and more alpha female... no longer little miss nice... i demand a lot at work and hunt ppl down when they do not give me what i want...which is why when it comes to a partner, i was really hoping for somebody who could balance me... but oh well, if this doesn't work well then somebody else may...

till now, i'm still floating around... maybe it's good to float around... *float float* hopefully, the floating season ends soon....i wanna be the energetic me again... soon i hope...