To run away...

from everything literally....

It's been 3 weeks since I started my non-events life... it prob explains my 3 weeks of explosive and evasive behaviour... first week was trying to get used to the environment, second was trying to get some work done, however, having most of it sent back due to minor problems... never put full stop, comma, forget one line etc.. you get the drift... third and current week, i spent my first day of the week trying to get used to sitting in the open office where everyone can see what you are doing... my only form of release for my excess energy which i gathered from events is to keep walking all over the place.. to go get print outs, toilet, get water, look for my boss... it was a torturous tasks... and there are times I truly wonder why did I make such a choice... I got irritated by the tons of paper that this whole company of 40 people use on a daily basis, the tons of weird print outs i need to print in order to protect my own ass... i really got fed up one day and I really wanted to call it quits cos I simply cannot stand the paper wastage, the backstabbing and the old ways of working... i really wanted to give it all up...

on top of that, i had to listen to the complaints that my friends had...bah.. who is gonna listen to me then? i dun care if you dun get enough from your bonus, u dun get a fucking job and you have problems with your bf/hubby/pet or anybody else... i dun really want to be the superwoman who listens to it all... i tried my best to listen and offered my best advice, take it or leave it... i'm also struggling too here... i'm trying to find time to do business development for my company, do F1, try and earn a bit more cash on top of everything... sometimes i just wish i had the same luck as i did when i finished my internship... to be placed on a plane to somewhere and truly be free for 6 days... i miss those carefree days... i dun have to think of anything else, just be myself.. drink and be merry... despite whatever happened after that was not pleasant, i still had fun during those few days... while korea was fun, that trip was different... but oh well, that's all in the past.. nobody is gonna do that anymore and we have all moved on...

in addition to all that, as if it's not enough, my poor broken leg seems to decide that it does not want to be nice these days... I might have to go back to the hospital to see if the bone is fully healed and wonder if I need to do anything more to it? because of the poor leg, i'm not even able to walk in my heels now... i got to hang up my heels and my ever so pretty heels... those who knew me for a long long time would know i love my heels... i hated the ballet flats... they make me feel shorter than I am.. bah!

Whatever happens, I gotta hold onto my dream... be it what others say, be it how others put it down...i know some of my friends have been trying to share job opportunities with me... thank u for your kind offers but no thank you and pls bear in mind, i need more support in finding business opportunities more than job offers... while you are happy earning your own keep each month, i'm happier trying to challenge myself to bigger things in life and see how far i fare...

at this moment, I wished for somebody to be seated next to me while I blog... although the seat is empty, it is good enough to know somebody is here with me, walking with me every step I take and being my anchor, making sure I stay grounded. Thank you.