Manson is the new guy who came to replace me... on the first day of work in 2005, he reported to me... swore to learn everything from me and excel in everything that he does... had a friendly chat with him during one of the one to one session... i needed to let him know the expectations of this job as well as to find his expectations of this job so that we can fine tune it... through the friendly chat i realised he gets anxious easily and he hated data entry which is a huge part of the job... but he came onboard anyway because he felt that this job was a hard to come by thingy.... especially to join HP is like a dream to him...
So the days went by... one week and I started teaching him about the new system that we had and the background information that is required to understand the new system... he didn't seem to be able to link everything together and he seemed to have a technological barrier... but nevertheless, i carried on as i felt that maybe he was just new and uncomfortable...
so the fateful day came... he finally could try on the system hands on... teaching him one thing at a time proved futile... and it added heavily on my workload... i needed to train him as well as carry on my daily work... as a result i had to work till really late... so yesterday, he was at my station using the new system and i was watching him use the new system on a particular aspect, while i packed my stuff for the java interviews candidates that were coming up later... manson was troubled that he cannot link up the various steps and he really could not understand the logic of things.... my tone was slightly harsher but not to the extent that i seem as if i was scolding him... finally after a long while, he finished that aspect and wanted a break...
he went over to my colleague's desk and he collapsed on the chair and he started to cry... OMG, i tell you i was aghast! how could a man cry over such small little thing??? after a while, my colleague came over to tell me that he is not feeling well and wants me to cover for his work... *fine, i thought* the next min, he needed to be helped out by two colleagues to go visit the doctor... *pretty scary.. his whole face turned pale*... as I still have visitors later, i can't go help... they went and the next news i heard was that they sent him to the hospital A&E... eeep!!!
It got me really worried.... I wondered what actually happened to him... felt guilty for being harsh on him and felt guilty for almost everything that happened although my colleagues were assuring me that it had nothing to do with me and I wasn't harsh at all.... colleague who went with the ambulance came back and said that Manson was suffering from a panic attack and he was shivering non stop... he basically lost it.... OMG!
I felt extreme guilt...and i couldn't sleep at night.. and i called gary.... and we talked about it... of course, the regular gary would be like teasing me no end cos finally he has the chance now.... but it was comforting talking to him... and in his own words, " for you to make someone to have a panic attack, it would probably mean that the person loves you a whole lot" so we basically talked for a while and he decided that it was too late in singapore and his dear sister has to sleep... so he drove me to sleep....
the next day, dragging the tired me, i went to work and found out that manson has resigned... it's a mutual resignation and he came back to pack his stuff... absolutely no grudges against me and that made me feel worse.. afterall, i was the trigger and it made him lose his job... but now, at least he knows his own weakenesses and hopefully he can find another job that suits him the best...
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