Couldn't really get back to sleep this morning, despite sleeping at two last night... decided that I wanna go online to do some surfing.. met XXX online... chatted for a while and she asked if I was dating somebody that we both knew....i found the question puzzling... she suspected that I was dating our instructor.. reason? cos our instructor always talks about me in front of her... so she thought I was dating him... then the attitude of the instructor towards her was also not very good... maybe that pushed her to think a little more about it...
this friend of mine recently had some relationship problems and she didn't want the instructor to know and affect her training... understandable...she asked if i did tell our instructor about her problems.. i wondered... why would she have such thoughts? but on my side, maybe it was a slip of tongue? or he overheard? I dunno.. maybe he was really smart to have guessed it.. but my relationship with my instructor is such that i have nothing to hide.. even if it was a change of job, a broken relationship.. i feel i should let him know that emotionally i'm not ok and dun be so hard on me... be more sensitive... but that's me... i did tell my instructor that she is not feeling good so asked him to be more sensitive to her... he did ask me why and i told him it's prob PMS.. maybe he didn't buy that.. i dunno... if it was really a slip of tongue, then i really have to apologize to XXX...it was not intentional...
so what did XXX dig out of me? so what's wrong with dating my instructor? nothing wrong.. except that he's attached to a wonderful lady... many years back, i dated somebody who was attached too... but i knew that he was attached but i still had to plunge in... when i managed to pull myself out, i was already of scars.. many yrs later, we got into contact again and while i tried my ways and means to stay clear, it just didn't happen... this time he was already married.... this time round, i escaped with lesser scars but still it was enough to last me a lifetime... so these days, as gary would testify for me, i would move away from ppl that are attached or married... i just dun want to have such things happening again.. not even rumors... apparently it doesn't happen that way now... maybe the distance was just not wide enough that's why ppl would start to think about us being together... maybe i should just move further away....
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