Unreasonable-ness

“野蛮：不理会别人的目光， 一至向前目标前进，直到达到目标为止”- 饶承天

A phase which I really liked these days. Be focused and just go for it.. be unaware of how people look at you.. never look back... that's a form of being unreasonable...

Ever since the day I knew uncle was admitted into hospital, gary was not coming back till june... I knew the heavy burden has been placed on my own shoulders.. to take care of him and auntie... this time round, i would need to summon all the strength that i need to hang in till june... and knowing projects, it might not even be june... i had a hard time trying to find the right words to explain my unique situation and relationship to people who needed to know what was happening.. i'm never a person who would explain things to people if people were to misunderstand me... i never like to justify my own actions... so it was tough trying to explain to them that i am still looking after my ex bf's parents... and why i couldn't take on volunteer work now.... i chose to not return calls, held onto my priorities and strive on... been two weeks... uncle is out of hospital.. auntie is slightly much more stable emotionally... she's now learnt how to take care of uncle and be a bit more independent... she knows that i'm here if she needs me and that i would dump every care in the world if she called me and said she needed help... she also knows that if she took good care of uncle, she would have the privilege of many more yrs with uncle... looking at her, i do feel happy that she is learning at her age how to survive on her own... to be strong and be there for her partner.... if gary ever saw this, he would be really happy... gary, if you see this... be at peace... she is fine.. so is he... he is recovering well and soon, he will be like what he is in the past... i'm still waiting for u to be back to look after them with mabel... i will be strong in the meantime... so u better get your ass back here as soon as you can...

been very tired these days... haven't been sleeping well... think my dark eye rings are getting more and more obvious... been busy at work these days... trying to catch up with all the missing things that my mentor has not taught me... have got some help here and there from my india counterparts... in fact, because of the fact that we are both struggling in this, we grew very close to each other... literally helping each other and exchanging documents from each side... i like this kind of working relationship... i really dun believe i can't do this job well... i know somehow things gotta end soon... but i know if i dun give it my best shot.. it's not me... btw, i applied to become a floor trader... i wanted to give it a try... it's a dream for me to be dealing with all these financial stuff... even if i dun make it in the end... at least i tried...

eric asked me a question the other day... which i felt was quite funny... he asked me why was i so uptight when andy asked me about me about my dear dear... why was i not willing to reveal to him who this person is and tell them more about him... my first reply was why does he need to know in the first place? not that he cannot know but i feel that even for the best friendship, there should be some level of secrecy.... i dun believe that my friends tell me about all they feel about others... and i dun want to be the one telling the whole world about the men in my life... i dun see the need... i can choose what i want to reveal and be glad that i am revealing some here and there... cos i can also choose not to reveal at all.... stubborness....