I went drinking last night, supposedly with the girls... but when i got there, nobody was there... so i drank alone... after my third round which is basically 6 drinks of JD, the girls got there and I got bad gastric pains... i had worked throughout the day and didn't manage to get lunch and I had forgotten all about that until my gastric acted up... the girls brought me to the doc.. it was so painful that i couldn't walk properly... got a earful from the doc and the girls and they promptly chucked me home while they went for their own rounds of drinks...
When I got home, I drank more cos I think I really wanted to get drunk... I was talking to Shirlyn about how pathetic work was... and i directed my anger at one innocent party... who was clearly hard at work and i refused to acknowledge the fact that he is very stressed at work... somehow i knew but chose to ignore it...
i couldn't sleep at night... i decided to call gary... at least got somebody to talk to and listen to me... instead i got scolded... bah... in the words of gary, " what has your work problems got to do with him? The poor chap is trying to strive for his career and u are like his stumbling block... want this and want that... i wouldn't be surprised if he dun want you lor..." win already lor.. * mr sharma, i can almost see you grinning away cos gary hardly scolds me bcos of another guy lor..* but what he say is true... he made me recognise the fact that i was directing my work frustrations at him... which adds to his stress... then our ever wise gary said something else along the way, " last time you were very supportive of my career and u gave me the freedom and time to pursue it.. why now you cannot do it?" let me share with you a secret... gary owes his high flying career because of me ok! when he was building his career, i had given him a lot of time to devote to his work...that's why he could reach till where he is now... but what he said about us in the past is true.. last time i wasn't so dependent on him... be it school or work stress, i could handle on my own... no need for him to be there for me... of cos, i did tell him what was happening and he did advise me when i needed it... that's how we basically survived our relationship...
after happily scolding me for 1.5 hrs, he finally let me go to bed.. i woke up with a disastrous headache... hangover time starts now... i contemplated not going to work but decided going to work would be better... i met up with shirlyn for coffee.. yes, i skived at work cos i decided i needed a break from the boxes... being a virgo too, shirlyn understood my issues... virgos are emotional bunch of ppl, they need a lot of emotional support and tend to be dependent on ppl at times... *my god, does it sound like me?!* she told me to do some self hypnosis.... if u think u can deceive yourself then u can lor....
i popped by vivo to visit joslin for a while... having known me since my last breakup, somehow she had absolute faith in me that i can overcome the dependency problem... as long as i set my own rules, i will be fine... and guess what ppl? she scolded me for bullying Mr Sharma!!! *roll eyes* i so sweet and adorable where got bully ppl one?! she say i throw temper at him.... sigh... what can i say? for someone whom they have never met in their lives, they are taking to his side... sigh.... I promise not to bully Mr Sharma... I promise to keep cool when I get problems at work and not to throw temper at Mr Sharma...
Although they made me promise it, I admit it is true... I realise my own blind spot when Joslin mentioned it a second time to me... it's probably something that I strive to change in the coming future...I know I can do it... yes I can do it...
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