I tried to help you to find something that helps...though not a lot but it eases the burden a bit... but why do I feel as if this is not something you were looking for and it's as if I forced it down your throat? Why do I heard grumblings more than sighs of relieve? Was I wrong?
Now that we started on it together, why do I find it hard to tell you that during the past 1 month I have felt enmity from some of them and I push you away from me because I didnt want you to have the same fate as me? Why is it hard for me to explain to you that you and I have a difference and the difference separates us in the eyes of others and it impacts how others see you as well? Some things which I have overheard in the washroom, corridors and all, how should I share it with you to explain why I am so indifferent at work?
I wish you would just understand and yet dun change our relationship... while I try to be nice and non political, I have learnt the hard way to play this game... if you choose to be nice, you only stand to lose this game and lose it badly... survival of the fittest, I have learnt it well... keep myself away from prying eyes and only in those who will pull you in times of danger... only then I can safeguard myself.... there are times, I hate myself for putting on a mask but this is the way I survive through the jungle where everyone is ready to bite and swallow you whole in my previous industry...
I wish somebody else was here to share this burden with me.... it is only such times that I think of him... I'm sure he will teach me how to handle such fragile relationships and yet grow from it... without him, i just got to learn how to protect myself by myself...
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